Discover Your Inner Compass: How to Define Your Personal Values
Ever feel like you're drifting through life without a clear destination? Or like you can’t figure how to make the right decision? Make the right move?
The secret to finding your direction often lies in defining your personal values.
Personal values are the core beliefs that guide your actions, shape your priorities, and determine how you interact with the world.
Think of them as your inner compass. When you know your true north, making decisions becomes easier, and you feel a deeper sense of fulfillment.
Here’s a simple, three-step approach to uncover your personal values:
Step 1: Identify Moments of Highs and Lows
Reflect on times when you felt most energized, proud, or fulfilled. What core idea or belief was being honored in that situation? Conversely, think about times when you felt most stressed, frustrated, or angry. What core belief was being violated?
Example High: You spent a Saturday volunteering and felt amazing. Value: Contribution/Community
Example Low: Your boss took credit for your work, leaving you infuriated. Value: Honesty/Fairness
Struggle Tip: If this feels too abstract, then think about people you admire. What are your favorite things about them? What makes you proud of them? Chances are the things that you admire (and dislike) in others say a lot about your values.
Step 2: Use a Values List for Inspiration
Sometimes, it's hard to put a name to the feeling. You don’t need to invent this! Use a list of common personal values and circle the ones that immediately resonate with you. Don't overthink it—go with your gut reaction. I put a list of example values below to get you started.
Step 3: Narrow Down and Prioritize
You might have a long list now. That's okay! Now, the tough part: Which ones are non-negotiable?
I like to tell my clients to put each value on a post it and stack rank them somewhere they pass often in their house - a mirror, back of a door, kitchen wall, etc. Chances are, you’ll continue to adjust them so don’t feel like you need to do this in one day.
How do you know which values mean the most to you? Try asking yourself these questions:
What is important to you about [value]?
What else is important about it?
What does your ideal version of this look like?
What excites you most about [value]?
How does this play a role in your life today?
How is that value most fully expressed in your life?
Try to narrow your list down to your top 5-10 core values. Then, rank the top three. These are the pillars of your decision-making framework.
Defining your values isn't a one-time task; it's an ongoing journey of self-discovery. Once you have them defined, you can use them to check your daily choices.
Are you living in alignment with your inner compass?
I start all of my 1:1 coaching relationships with values work and it can be helpful to have an outside perspective to help you hone in on them. If you want to learn more about working together, you can request a consultation with me here.
Personal Values List
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Acceptance
Belonging
Commitment
Compassion
Connection
Cooperation
Empathy
Family
Forgiveness
Friendship
Generosity
Kindness
Love
Loyalty
Service
Teamwork
Tolerance
Unity
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Accountability
Authenticity
Courage
Discipline
Fairness
Gratitude
Honesty
Humility
Integrity
Justice
Patience
Respect
Responsibility
Trust
Vulnerability
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Accomplishment
Achievement
Ambition
Competence
Creativity
Curiosity
Development
Education
Excellence
Growth
Improvement
Innovation
Learning
Mastery
Wisdom
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Adventure
Autonomy
Balance
Beauty
Calmness
Challenging
Comfort
Flexibility
Freedom
Health/Well-being
Independence
Order
Peace
Security
Simplicity
Stability
Variety
Wealth/Affluence
